Growing Up Ignorant

7/16/10

Every time I try to describe the people who say and write venomous things about me - or activist conservatives like me - I find I am a loss for words.

I'm talking about words like racist, ignorant, selfish, stupid, b--ch, moron. There have been other descriptive phrases that I can't remember right now, but the two that linger are racist and selfish. There are just some words that are used to convey really bad behavior or character traits.

I was raised in South Euclid in the 50's and 60's so we didn't see many black families. I had no reason to go into Cleveland proper and see black people until I took the bus to my job at 1010 Euclid Avenue. There were Jewish families in South Euclid and since they were white, like me, there seemed no obvious difference between us.

I didn't know there was any kind of problem until I came home from high school, in my junior year, with a Jewish boyfriend. My mother said, "He's Jewish," the same way she might have said, "the sky is blue," or "you didn't do your homework."

Later on my father had a problem with my best friend being divorced. Catholic families went to a church where the "nuns" wore intriguing long black robes; that was an obvious difference between them and me, and I was uncomfortable around the nuns.

I adored my dad but I also knew he didn't like black people (and, of course, I already mentioned that there was some sort of problem with divorcees) but I was apparently - and unknowingly - unaffected by my parents prejudices.

As a matter of fact, I hid from them the fact that I was embarrassed by their biases; I never told my mother that I was disappointed that she didn't like my dating choice, and I never responded to my father about my best friend, Jean, she was my best friend and spent hours and hours at my parents' home until she died from a self-inflicted gun shot.

How does one child remain remain so ignorant, and for so long?

I'm going to suggest that it was my parents and grandparents who kept me in the dark - void of racial bias - and they did it because they knew it was wrong. I lived in a home where ignorance was bliss, where being a good child was all that was expected of me.

Mom and Dad never talked openly about their biases and prejudices, they kept those secrets to themselves especially if we kids were around, and probably only shared or joined in when they were friends or relations who shared those prejudices.

Mom and Dad were good Christians. Gramma and Grampa were very good Christians. They didn't believe in making us kids feel good about ourselves because that probably wasn't important to raising a good child. They were loving parents without all the huggy, squeezy stuff.

The longer I live the more I appreciate their innate goodness and that they tried to teach us the right way to live and how to treat others. The fact that they were all-too human and didn't want us kids to see that, just reinforces my respect for them. The fact that they would have been embarrassed by us witnessing their prejudices elevates the folks even higher.